This space is normally reserved for photos and ruminations, and theres a lot of requests for South Africa recaps from people who read this for some reason, but tough shit for you, Reader. Instead I post this great chat regarding kitchen appliances I had this morning. (SA stuff will come soon)

9:09 AM Emily: I saw this:
and thought of you, for some reason.

me: thats sweet
i have no idea what to make of that association, but I appreciate it

9:10 AM Emily: Just kind of random, I suppose.
It kind of makes me want to get all gothed out and take a pic,
but unfortunately my toaster is white.

me: you could be angry at your toaster
i don’t even own one. I have a toaster oven.

9:11 AM Emily: I’m not sure if that counts…

me: i don’t think I’ve ever owned a toaster
i wouldn’t count it

Emily: I only have one because my parents got one free when they bought the breadmaker ages ago, and they didn’t need it.

9:12 AM me: i use mine to heat up all kinds of pizza and its easier for toasting bagels

Emily: I’ve wondered whether it’s worth getting one – a toaster oven, I mean.
Seeing as I already have both a toaster and an oven, it’s hard to justify.

9:13 AM me: having a toaster is sort of classic, but the toaster oven sort of takes over a different space than the conventional oven. Its for quick use – none of this pre-heating – but when you don’t want something microwaved

Emily: It definitely makes sense for heating up pizza.
9:14 AM I’m not really happy with the results of microwave or oven for that.

9:15 AM me: thats what I’m saying. The microwave is really only good for beverages, popcorn, and leftovers already covered in plastic wrap. Lets face it – the microwave isn’t the revolutionary item it was promised to be. You could do just as well with a tea kettle, some jiffy pop, and the stove

Emily: I never thought of it that way.
Talk about a product really failing to live up to the hype.
9:16 AM I imagine the aging, disillusioned fifties housewives,

me: And the oven is just excessive, energy wise. Who wants to wait 15 minutes to heat up your oven? This is where the toaster oven bridges the gap between microwave and oven.
I’m not sure if you’re old enough to remember, but the original microwaves were actually made to look like conventional ovens for some reason. If it were up to me, I would have made them look like teleportation devices

9:17 AM Emily: With lots of chrome, and led flashy lights?

me: Yeah, and they’re heavy as fuck for some reason. I had a small one from the 80’s and it must have weighed 35 lbs. I never figured it out and eventually gave it away in anger

9:18 AM Emily: Good call.
My parents actually had a nice one for ~20 years…
…it even had wood panelling that matched the kitchen cabinets.
It was permanently mounted above the oven, though, so portability wasn’t an issue.

9:19 AM me: what was the fascination with making things look like they were made of wood using paneling? I never got that. We had it all over our house. Are we supposed to be in some sort of log-cabin?

9:20 AM Emily: It was some very bizarre appeal to fashion, I think,
as though cars from the Flintstones were still hip.

me: in closing, think about the toaster oven. I think it’ll do a lot for you and ask very little in return.

Emily: I wonder why woodgrain-print fabric never caught on.

me: thats even less plausible

9:21 AM Emily: True. A few strategically placed knotholes and you’re a laughingstock.
But yeah, I’ll think about a toaster oven.