On the flight from home, I snagged the Exit row and sat next to a med student and Some White Guy. The med student broke out an exam practice test and got to work. This is a great start to the flight because it meant I didn’t have to talk to anyone. But then something ineffable (nod to “How I Met Your Mother” – solid new show in my lineup) happened. She broke out a can of tuna and a plastic fork to start digging in. Look, I’m all for health and whatnot, and I’ve definitely brought more than my share of food with me wherever I go, but tuna is a different story, because of The New Tuna Rule.

The New Tuna Rule is basically a rule I am inventing now, which just says that much like when smoking was legal in public places, it was polite to at least turn to people you were with and ask “do you mind if I smoke?”, The New Tuna Rule is that if you decide to break out a can of tuna, you have to ask everyone within 5 feet if its cool. No exceptions. Mandatory in confined spaces (e.g. airplanes)

She proceeded to wash this down with two Mountain Dews and pay for her snack pack out of a wad of cash which I’m guessing was at least $2000. These comprised strikes two and three and I began looking for another seat. The rest of the flight passed without event.